isn’t it upsetting that your future husband is literally alive right now but you just don’t know who he is he could be with a STUPID GIRLFRIEND GET AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND
also isn’t it upsetting that your future wife is literally alive right now but you just don’t know who she is she could be lonely or sad or something horrible could be happening to her and oh no now im worried…
isn’t it upsetting that your future 50 cats are literally not born yet
If you can’t handle me randomly blurting out song lyrics that relate to what you just said, we can’t be friends
I seriously want to thank each amd everyone of you for the follows because it means that you like me for who I am and I very much appreciate that!
Love all you guys! ♡
Love you baes 😘
okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too
but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time
and then another person fell
and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu fainting mob and a lot of people were shouting
and the girl who’d originally fallen looked so fucking happy
Whatever you guys do, just please be safe :*
FUCKING BLESS THIS SIGNAL BOOST REBLOG NOW! THIS IS SO NECESSARY
you can find this on my tagged/wizardmickeyls for future reference.. this is so damn important.
but seriously, if you lie to your doctor/EMT about shit like this, you’re more likely to get worse than better.
VERY VERY TALL BOYS
THAT ARE TALL
BOYS WITH HEIGHT
I LOVE IT
don’t forget the four h’s of puberty kids!
The girl who was my elementary school girl friend just got engaged and I’m sitting here single wearing a pug shirt and hamburger underwear
Just remember, u r someone’s dream girl
I’m a boy
Tumblr has made us forget that some people are actually straight
jesus this post is one train wreck after another
My great grandpa got hit by a train once.
This is the most useful thing I’ve ever reblogged.
i used to think when people said my cousin twice removed that their cousin must’ve did some fucked up shit to get kicked out of the family twice
When I found this the first thing I thought was “now I can find out how Count Olaf is related to the Baudelaire children.”
This is why everyone is either an uncle, aunt or cousin in my family. This shit is confusing.
*releases 420 cows into a field* hahahaha graze it
my self esteem has two levels
- im a worthless piece of shit who deserves no love
- bow down before bitches i am your queen